Tuesday, January 31, 2006

The mass eye roll that porn star Kurt Lockwood enduces

Kurt Lockwood, you may have heard of him, you probably haven't but he is one of the biggest male porn stars out today. In an industry that is solely focused on the women, the males are merely props, dicks, pieces of flesh to feed the crowd of porn fans who are not entirely into dedicated lesbian features. With the last of the greats Rocco out of the picture, porn fans have literally lost their hero, the man who even though he is a male had generated a huge following. People liked Rocco, he had charisma, almost charm and even the most homophobic of viewers could watch him take on his co-star females. Peter North as most of you pron fans will know is still working, but he's mostly focused on the production and directing side of things. Long gone is of course the ultimate of male porn stars, the much loved and acclaimed John Holmes. Replaced now with a stream of boring males stars who hold about as much weight in screen presence as a piece of shit on a stick. Lifeless, boring and cliche they are, but one stands out, and for all the wrong reasons.

Kurt Lockwood has now been in the industry for over 1000 scenes, none notable and none are stand out performances. Okay so what's the problem here you ask, he's just a prop after all. If you're asking this question then you are missing the point. He is a prop, he serves no real purpose other than that, but what is fascinating about Kurt is that is is a walking egomaniac who for some reason feels that he is above everyone else and deserves some kind of recognition. Here at Destroy we broke a story about Kurt some time ago, in which Kurt was parading around Hollywood talking about how he was 'The Real Dirk Diggler '. If this wasn't disturbing enough on his website Kurt even talks about it to his audience.

"And if I get compared to DIRK DIGGLER from P.T. Anderson's BOOGIE NIGHTS one more time"

"
In the BOOGIE NIGHTS movie that has become my life, I'm just at the point in the movie right after DIRK DIGGLER wins his AVN award and has moved into his house and shows Julianne Moore aka Amber Waves his "Dojo Bedroom" and his walk-in closet with all of his designer clothes."

"
Well fans, you know that in the BOOGIE NIGHTS movie that has become my life, before, I told you that if the movie were to mirror my career in this here adult biz, prior to now I was right up to the point in the movie where DIRK has his great new crib (Hollywood Hills-check), his fly new gear (it looks like a fuckin' DIESEL store in my walk-in closet hell yeah!), and then...tada! THE WHIP! As in CAR, as in DIRK showing AMBER WAVES (JulieAnne Moore) his red Corvette! (No, I didn't get a Corvette, silly!) Anyway up until now that was as far as BOOGIE NIGHTS went for mirroring my adult biz experience (tho I still can't watch that scene where DIRK's Mom throws him out of the house). Anyway, I had a nice car before but it didn't parallel, it didn't floss if ya know what I mean. "

"O
ver the years I've been writing this journal, you fans have heard me compare my life to that of Dirk Diggler's in Boogie Nights, the comparisons were rather astonishing. Up until now, I've been a little concerned because if I follow the parallel, I'm up to the point in the movie where I got my kick ass car, my awards, my awesome crib, hell, I'm even recording in the studio with my band like Dirk, but I didn't want the rest of what he goes thru- the drugs, etc. I went thru all of that shit when I was Dee Dee Ramone's guitarist, touring, touring, touring....
What I am realizing however, is that what may actually be happening here is that instead of continuing the Dirk Diggler parallel in the movie that as I am growing older and wiser in the business and as I am moving into feature directing, that I may actually be switching Boogie Nights' characters. I think that I just might be growing up from the Dirk character to the Burt Reynold's character, haha."


These are clearly ramblings of a porn idiot, where the blood from his brain has gone all the way to his penis and stayed there. He is delusional and quite frankly offensive in the way he compares himself to an onscreen legend such as Dirk. Let's do some comparing here:

Dirks' character was oozing charm and charisma, he was funny, engaging, Kurt isn't any of these things, he is boring and lifeless. Dirk left porn in a drug-induced fit and what emerged was his desperation, he went into the recording studio to try his hand at music, but he sucked, but even as he was sucking he still managed to charm the shit out of the viewer, it was funny. Kurt doesn't do drugs, except smoke weed which he proudly and juvenilly reveals on the About section on his Myspace page ("
yeah, smoking pot, haha."). Where dirk had a clear reason to turn to music Kurt never really did, okay sure he toured with a Ramone, but it was delusions of grandear that most likely turned him to make his own music. And what music he makes! To listen to Kurts' music and enjoy it is to enjoy listening to your mother take a dump, literally it is that bad. His lyrics are cliche, terrible at best and down right ridiculous:

"
X-RAY EYEZ

I saw what you did
I know who you are
You stole all you got yeah you did
From someone else's star
You didn't think I'd see you
But now it's you I despise
'Coz baby I see everything
With my X-RAY EYEZ

X-RAY EYEZ

You got his moves down perfect
You got his voice to a "T"
I'll bet you someday, baby,
You're gonna be bitin' offa me
And when you look in the mirror
Do you believe your own lies?
Then maybe you need your very own
Set of X-RAY EYEZ

X-RAY EYES

Fuck the fakers
Fuck the Bible
Fuck the Saints
Yeah, hold'em libel
Fuck the politicians liars all
Save yourself
Come kiss the wicked
There ain't no hell
It's sill stupidstition
Bein' bad feels so good anyway
in 1999
Save me
Gimme, gimme new eyes
Gimme, gimme new eyes
Gimme, gimme new eyes

Happy Fucking Millenium!"


..uh no.

Kurt is a self-proclaimed movie nut, he watches them all the time in his “Magic Castle” on top of the Hollywood hills. He quotes films on a regular basis and compares himself to movie stars. On Kurts bio on his website that looks like it is stuck in 1989 it reveals that:

"Kurt landed the role of the "unforgettable" Rollerblading Snowman opposite Steve Martin in the movie "MIXED NUTS."
So, after giving the finger to "Hollywood," Kurt returned to music and toured the country playing punk rock with Dee Dee Ramone of the seminal punk band the Ramones."


Take a look here And you will see just how unFORGETTABLE and uncredited his movie role was in the Steve Martin flick. Case in point, it is most likely that it wasn't Kurt who gave the finger to Hollywood but something like the other way around. Kurt is akin to the tradesman who hasn't quite mastered any of his trades, yet he still runs around and acts like he has (what is known as a “cowboy” in the building industry) and expects recognition and proclamation from his crazy followers as well as the porn community. Take a look at his site, there is an art section that he is most proud of, and while it is sad, it's good for a laugh.

Now ladies and gentlemen we would like to show you something, and to all the Lockwood fans out there we would like to point out that your self-proclaimed Dirk Diggler is in fact a disgusting prick who eats his own sperm. This video is a clip taken from "Planting Seeds 2", where as you can probably derive from the title, the male stars cum inside the women. Guess what? All the guys in the video pop and let it either stay in there or dribble out while the camera zooms in, except Kurt who takes it upon himself to, in what can only be described as a spastic fit, roll over and lick and suck his own sperm out of his co-star. Now I don't know about you but all imagery of Kurt rolling around LA in his black BMW with the 'Hypnotic Rims', hot bitches in the back is totally shattered. - Not that we had that image in the first place.

Kurt is a joke and a sick bastard, he is crazy to think that people actually think he's some kind of star. He doesn't have any talent in what he does, whether it's music, film, porn, photography, writing, whatever, yet he struts around and talks in the magazines like he’s a big star. It's sad when it all goes to your head.

While he should be “rolling on dubs” around Hollywood He instead chooses to use his time to troll forums looking for people to e-fight, we caught him ranting in an AVN forum where someone was talking about something completely different, the reaction from one poster was:

"How did Kurt Lockwood manage to hijack an entire thread that had nothing whatsoever to do with him?".

Kurt is quoted as saying:

"I make SIX FIGURES A YEAR being one of the busiest working guys in the business, I get PAID to fuck hot chicks EVERY DAY and to travel and shoot all over the world-Caribbean, New York, Vegas, etc.-so hate on THAT you worthless gasbags. All of you white trash gossip writers are all broke-ass failures as men, you should be ashamed of yourselves."

"Yes, I "accidentally" spilled my drink on an internet gossip writer who has talked shit and lied about me all year long and even went so far as to steal my identity and post AS ME on different sites. How retarded is he? This nobody puke is obsessed with me. He had it comin' and he knows it."

"This year, this coward from Atlanta, who thought he'd get away with being a loudmouth hater because I would only see him once a year found out he was wrong. Again, I begged him to take it outside and he wouldn't even get up from his seat, Instead, this pussy threw a drink over his shoulder without even looking at me and he completely missed! What a yellow-bellied blow-hard! At that point it was obvious he was gonna do anything, just another chicken-shit turd like Skankus and I walked away. Hey dirtbag South, you were really brave the way you did... absolutely... nothing, you fucking lying cowardly piece of shit. He didn't even stand up! Actually, you were smart because I was gonna happilly beat you to a fuckin' broken and bloody pulp mess with my fists, you were gonna need some serious hospitilization and corrective plastic surgery when I was done with you, I was gonna choke you out to within an inch of your useless life. I was gonna break your fuckin' neck. Believe it, bitch. In Texas Hold'em they call what you did a "good dodge." Best thing you ever fuckin' did in your whole miserable life was staying in that seat, fat-ass."

"What are you gonna do when I'm still gonna work and fuck chicks even more than last year? When I'm making even more money than I did last year? When I'm directing more big features than I did last year? When I'm play bigger shows with my band, SEX CITY PUNX, than I did last year? What are you gonna do when there's nothing you can do about any of it? Not a damn thing. You conservative internet haters have no power here. So hate all you want. I'm still here. I'll still BE here, $till doing better than you. I hope that burns you haters to your bitter, whithered hearts. I hope that my existence and $ucce$$ sizzles on your lives like acid butter, fuckos. 'Coz it's never gonna stop."

"P.S. hater-bitches, my gun holds twelve in the clip and and one in the chamber and I'm 24/7. You can be my "Wonderland.""


YAWN. Nobody cares about you Kurt and if anyone is writing about you it's because you're an idiot and you are being targeted because you are just begging for attention and scrutiny. Sure some people may be jealous, but they would only have to use their brains to come to the very real conclusion that is the truth:

PEOPLE CHOOSE TO BE IN PORN.

There's many guys out there who fuck girls, but also hold down relationships, loving ones at that and that is far more of a payoff than a fuck, albeit a fuck that is only happening because you're in a porn movie. I don't know, what would you prefer? - Fucking your girlfriend in the privacy of a room with just the two of you there (maybe another girl if she's into it) or fucking some skank bitch who's pussy has had over 4000 dicks in there and is basically a hooker, in front of a bunch of guys in a sweaty warehouse? Hmm, let's think about that for a moment. Any guy that slanders Lockwood is instantly a loser living in their parents basement, has never had sex, is a hater, according to Lockwood himself. Anyone dissing this guy out of pure jealously is stupid, because there are so many valid and genuine reasons to hate on this guy and it has absolutely nothing to do with whether you get laid or not. It's just another way for Kurt to reinstate in his demented mind that he is somehow above everyone. Anyone with a dick, who is alright looking (not even in most cases) can be a porn star. If you can't get wood pop Viagra, it's not rocket science. It's not honorable. Kurt gets paid to have sex with girls who are only there to get paid, shit I'd rather go out on the town and find a girl and do that, it's not hard to get laid.

Does Brad Pitt go online to vigorously defend himself in fits of rage when people post about poor Jennifer Aniston? No, and Brad Pitt as dumb and as bad an actor as he is, is a real star. Lockwood was booted out of Hollywood, they didn’t want his Rollerblading Snowman ass any longer. In his desperation he chose to pursue a career in porn. That’s all very well, but when you start acting all e-gangsta on people who you don’t even know (and we certainly know far more about you than you know of us, it’s all there on your site etc) because they are writing about how much of a tool you are, claiming you’re some kind of god it’s going to annoy someone. Here at ‘Destroy All Celebrities’ we can see through all this bullshit, we see you for what you are, and it’s war now. You can’t expect to act like a total douchebag and get away with it. Now we have revealed that you are a dick we are going to sleep easy in our mothers basements, where no girl has ever stepped foot in before. Altogether now readers *Mass eye roll*.